it’s possible to run windows in a VM on Linux (Microsoft even provides one intended for developers)

UDP hole punching could be regarded as a clever “hack”

it’s amazing that you’ve been downvoted for saying you pay for a service you use that’s not ad-riddled junk. how else do people expect these entities to make money that pays for servers, employees, etc.? someone operates the hardware and it’s not free.

a literal child may not have the capacity to learn from the interaction, yet. maybe other people reading it will, though.

ultimately, you will need some kind of access to something with at least one port open, if you intend to host services on the clearnet. you could use tor if onion services will work for you. if you have ssh access somewhere with a port open (or a friendly sysadmin), you could tunnel to there and redirect incoming connections back through the tunnel. same thing with a VPN, if the sysadmin is really friendly.

can’t say I’ve ever done this. better to figure out why it’s broken and fix it so that the next time I encounter that kinda problem, I can fix it quickly.