cobysev

My technique is to not be interested in the person. Not like ignoring them or being mean or anything. But… when I like someone, I get all shy and awkward around them and I tend to screw up any attempt at socializing.

If I’m not romantically interested in them, I can be myself, which I’ve been told is naturally very funny and flirtatious.

Every person I’ve ever dated was a friend long before I started a relationship with them, because I took the time to know them and eventually developed mutual feelings for them. By the time I was asked out, I already had deep respect for them and felt comfortable being myself around them, so dating was just the next step in our relationship.

And yes, I’ve always been the one asked out. I asked out a girl once, and instead of just saying no, she made a public spectacle about how creepy I was and how she would never date me. I was extremely shy back then and my failed attempts to approach her apparently came off as me creeping on her, so by the time I actually worked up the courage to talk to her, she gave me a traumatizingly public “hell no.” I never asked anyone else out again after that. I’ve dated close to a dozen people in my life and every single one of them asked me out.

For some reason, this just sparked an ancient memory of the Geek Code, which was a sort of signature block you could append to your emails and online bios to show off how much of a geek you were in the geekiest fashion possible.

Goddamn I’m old.

Living the dream…

Dozens of people die

“It’s just a prank, bro!”

I use a VPN that won’t load catbox images for some reason. If I turn it off, catbox starts working again.

“They Live!” A guy finds some strange sunglasses that lets him see the subliminal messages hidden in all our print and media and advertisements. He can also see aliens walking amongst the population, disguised as regular humans!

Turns out, Earth had been invaded by aliens long ago and they’ve been keeping us under their control with subliminal messages for decades.

She’s horny and on the pill, so no chance of getting pregnant… unless Bruce wants that.

We set up Teams during the pandemic (because Zoom was being a bitch about the govt not paying to use their full suite). We already used a bunch of other Microsoft products, so it was easy to get a contract for Teams integration too. I don’t remember Teams giving people a notification when you joined though, just the meeting host. But I’ve also been retired for nearly 3 years now, so I have no idea how Teams has changed recently.

Your boss has no right to ask you to come earlier than your agreed time.

In the military, they have every right.

You see, when you join the military, you sign a contract for 4-6 years of service. The day that contract begins, you start your first shift and it doesn’t technically end until your contract expires, several years later. You’re on shift 24/7/365 until your contract is up. So your boss can demand you work any shift or come in at any time, day or night, and you just have to do it. Even if it’s outside of your normally scheduled work hours.

There are regulations that outline “regular passes,” which is time off granted daily because you’re human and can’t literally work 24/7. A regular pass allows you to go home, eat, sleep, and be refreshed for the next day. I don’t know if the federal regs have changed in the last handful of years, but the last time I looked them up, you couldn’t work more than 17 hours straight before you were required to take a minimum 8 hours off to rest. Most shifts are typically 8-12 hours long, so hopefully you don’t get stuck working a 17-hour shift anytime soon.

The whole point of this is that military people need to be ready to respond to war, no matter when it strikes. You don’t work a regular day shift, then argue about extra hours or overtime pay when shit hits the fan. You just grab your bugout bag and go. And yes, we don’t get overtime pay because again - we’re always on shift.

We do get lots of time off, though. From the day you join, you start earning 2.5 days off for every month you serve, which adds up to 30 days off per year. You can carry over something like 60 days off every year too. It was pretty nice. In my early service days, I would save up a whole month of time off and then take it all at once to go hang out with my friends and family back home.

When I served in the military, my first supervisor taught me a valuable lesson: “15 minutes early, or you’re late.” I actually got in trouble with her if I was less than 15 minutes early to any meeting, appointment, or event.

Or even arriving to work. We worked in an IT field, so our office had a large row of server racks along one wall. Her desk sat facing the door, but next to the GPS server that kept accurate time for all our computers on the military base. It had a giant digital clock on the front of the server. Every day when I walked into work, she would look up at me, then turn and look at that clock. If I was even 10 seconds late (to the 15-minute rule), I got in trouble with her. I was never late to work though, because she ensured I was always there earlier than my official shift start time.

Being 15 minutes early to everything has changed my life. If I’m running behind, I have a quarter hour window to get myself back on track. If I arrive 15 minutes early, I have plenty of time to get myself set up and situated. Or just time to sit and clear out some other pending tasks while I wait for a thing to start (check phone notifications, clear out emails, etc.).

When it comes to virtual meetings, I like to join 15 minutes early, then mute myself and turn off my camera. Then I can sit at my computer and knock out some other tasks while I’m waiting for the meeting to start. That buffer gives me time to mentally switch into meeting mode while also giving me time to be productive beforehand. And no one is waiting for me to show up, so if the meeting is ever running late, it’s never my fault.

Only worth it if Christopher Lee plays the werewolf.

In the first grade, I was bullied by a popular kid in my school.

Back in those days (early '90s), the cool thing was to have pencil grips. Kids loved to show off an assortment of colors and styles of them. This bully of mine happened to have a single pencil, covered from tip to eraser with pencil grips, which was his prize possession. He was always showing it off to everyone. It was rumored he’d been stealing them off other kids, but no one could definitively prove it.

When he wasn’t looking one day, I snatched his favorite pencil with all the pencil grips. It was justice for all the times he picked on me in grade school. I enjoyed watching him frantically turn his backpack inside out, trying to find it.

I didn’t get to keep it for long, though. A week later, one of the stricter teachers found it in my backpack and told me I had too many pencil grips for a single pencil, so she confiscated it. I didn’t know any better at the time, or else I would’ve complained about her stealing my property. But it was already stolen, so I didn’t really care to fight it.

That was the first and last time I stole something. I actually agonized over it for a long time afterward. I was relieved when the teacher stole it from me because it was finally out of my hands and I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. I never stole anything else again; the anxiety of holding onto stolen goods etched itself deep into my psyche.

Also calling out my sister: When I was maybe 6 or so, my mother found a stash of candy in a cabinet of our kitchen; mostly Lifesavers. She asked me where it came from and I just shrugged. She then asked my sister, who was 2 years younger than me, and my sis immediately broke down crying. Turns out, every time my mother went to the gas station, my little sis would grab a couple rolls of Lifesavers and pocket them. She thought my parents would never look in the messy cabinets of our kitchen.

I'm pretty sure she never stole again after getting caught. She was a wreck for a while afterward and almost terrified of candy when offered.

A coworker of mine did this. He and his new wife took parts of their last names and blended them together to create a unique new last name for both of them.

I’ve lived too much of my life as male. I think it’d be impossible to erase or dissociate from +30yrs of me. Hell, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to stop seeing myself as a man.

I totally get this. As a 40-yr old with extremely masculine features, there’s no way I could ever successfully transition. Maybe if transitioning was a thing back when I was like 12-14 years old, I might’ve had a chance. But I’ve been male for so long, and even more masculine in appearance than most men I know, so I think it’s only something I can fantasize about at this point.

I think it was paid… But it’s been years so I couldn’t tell you.

It’s currently $3.99 in the Play Store for me, with a crossed-out list price of $6.49. Not a bad deal.

When I was stationed in Germany with the US military in 2010, I wrecked my car in a blizzard. It was totaled; I couldn’t drive it anymore and I needed to get to work every day, so I dropped cash on a used 2006 Mazda 3. It was a 5-speed manual and was in immaculate condition. The former owner had detailed journal entries and receipts for every bit of maintenance they’d ever done. They were only selling it because they had more cars than they needed at the time and they needed some quick cash.

Fast forward to 2020… I was stationed in Nebraska and my Mazda 3 was finally showing its age. I had driven it across most of Europe and half of the US, and its mileage was approaching 200K. I was in the market for a new car.

I found myself “deployed” to South Carolina for 4 months during the pandemic, and while I was there, my wife called me up and asked if I wanted her to buy a new car for me. Apparently, some married friends of hers bought a brand-new 6-speed 2017 Mazda 3 Touring Edition as their daily driver to college classes. But their entry to college was delayed a few years, then the pandemic hit and all classes moved online. So it was just cluttering up their garage. They had 5 cars and hardly drove any of them, so they decided to sell 4 of them during the pandemic.

The 2017 Mazda 3 had only 7,000 miles on it. And they sold it to me for $17K cash. It was a helluva deal! I sold my 2006 Mazda 3 to a coworker and my wife bought the 2017 version for me. And I’ve been driving it since. It’s way nicer than my older version, and the previous owners had even paid for some upgrades to the base car.

I’m retired now, since 2022, and I don’t need to drive as much as I used to, but I always take my 2017 Mazda 3 when I leave the house. I enjoy cruising around in that car. It’s not a super fancy luxury car, but it’s the nicest car I’ve ever owned. I’m hoping I can get a solid decade or more out of this car before I need another one.

I’m fine with apps, as long as I’m not drowning in them for redundant services; i.e. I installed a bunch of Lemmy apps while I was trying it out, but now that I’ve settled on one, I removed all the others. I try to curate my apps every now and then and keep the clutter at a minimum, or at least remove any that I’m not regularly using.

YouTube is one app I will not use, though. Using Firefox with uBlock Origin, I can prevent it from advertising to me. But I can’t stop ads in their app. So I’ve disabled their app (can’t remove it, as I currently have a Google phone) and I forwarded all YouTube links to Firefox.

For the most part, I just avoid topics I know will upset her, and I try to keep the conversation on topics I know she appreciates. It’s just peacekeeping at this point. I feel like I lost her long ago and all I can do is try to keep her happy now. It’s rough because I lost my father earlier this year and all I have left is my mother and sister, but they’re both deeply conservative people and shut down any topics they’re uncomfortable with instead of having open, honest discussion.

There are the occasional fights when I’m trying to relay something important and my mother won’t listen. Like the fact that I’m fully retired as of 38 years old, only because I’m a 100% disabled veteran will full medical/dental benefits for life. But Trump plans to eliminate the VA benefits program and privatize our hospitals. Which means I won’t be able to afford to live anymore and I’ll need to find a job. This severely affects my life, but my mom doesn’t believe it will happen and she doesn’t want to discuss it further. I basically need to become homeless and destitute before she’ll believe me, and even then she’ll probably have an excuse about how this is thanks to some obscure program Biden set up in the past.

Outside of my mother (and sister), though, I’m uncompromising. If I meet someone like my mother, I do my best to talk with them and have a meaningful conversation. If they won’t allow it, then I’m done with that person. I won’t keep people like that in my life; having to deal my mother is stressful enough.

You may ask why I keep my mother and sister in my life at all. The truth is, I grew up in a very loving, caring family and I’ve always gotten along with my family members well. I love them all and they love me too. I’m not going to let political discourse destroy my family, and I’ll still be here to help them when political decisions affect their lives. My sister even told me she’ll gladly take in my wife and I if we do end up homeless due to some policy change.

It’s just frustrating that I feel like I need to wear a mask in front of my mother and sister now. I’m not as open with them as I used to be and it eats away at me because I care for them so much.

My mother was one of the most intelligent people I know; she had a genius-level IQ and always seemed to know how to handle any situation with grace and efficiency. She was the breadwinner in our family, making much more than my dad and supporting our family well. She was my role model growing up, and thanks to her, I prefer strong, independent, intellectual women in my life.

In her old age though, she’s moved in next to her favorite brother whom she idolizes, a hero back in his day. (Firemen chief who’s always been aggressively involved in his community and can fix/build anything.) Unfortunately, he’s extremely pro-Trump and has convinced my mother that anything progressive is evil and “the way things used to be” is far superior to any “modern crap.”

My mother now argues vehemently against any programs that help her out in old age, she attacks progressive politicians and projects, and she immediately shuts down conversation if I mention anything about politics, even just stating neutral facts like “Trump won the presidency.” I just can’t get through to her anymore.

On top of that, she doesn’t handle controversy well anymore. My wife and I had one minor disagreement in front of her (not even raised voices, more or less an argument, just working through a misunderstanding) and she practically blew up at both of us, claiming we put her in an uncomfortable spot and she didn’t want to be stuck listening to us “fight.” Which prevented us from resolving our disagreement in a healthy manner and led to my wife and I having an actual fight later.

I’ve learned to be happy and cheerful around my mother and never bring anything decisive to her. Let her enjoy her final days in ignorant bliss. It hurts because I can’t be myself around her. I can’t have difficult discussions with her anymore and I can’t go to her with my own problems. She’s no longer the voice of logic and reason. There’s nothing wrong with her cognitively; she’s still all there in the head. She’s just so rooted in her conservative belief structure that she won’t accept me unless I’m the “perfect son.” And that sucks.

Um. I was born in 1984 and I just turned 40 this year, thank you.

I’m too anal about cleanliness and organization, my house typically doesn’t have a drawer like this. My favorite mantra in the home, which my chronically disorganized wife is tired of hearing me repeat, is “a place for everything and everything in its place.”

However. I inherited my childhood home when my dad passed away this year (my wife and I had already been living here for a few years, in a separate apartment in the house) and my dad had a junk drawer like this. As a matter of fact, my dad was extremely messy and almost every drawer in his house looks like this. It’s probably the reason I’m so anal about organization in my life; having to grow up in a constantly messy home.

Growing up in this house, though, my family always had 2 drawers side-by-side in the kitchen which were always filled with random junk. They’re still here. I haven’t gotten to them yet. So yes, my current house has a couple junk drawers. But if I have my way, they will be organized and cleared out. If there’s going to be any messy containers filled with miscellaneous junk in the house, it’ll be boxes stored in the garage or basement - not a random drawer.