I’m on mine far more often than I’m in a car. I think Tesla found out that I point and laugh at any cyber trucks I see at red lights while I’m out and is trying to kill me.

I wish I could remember where I read it, but I do remember reading either an article or paper that laid out that when people are victimized, other abusers tend to be able to spot that somehow. Something about body language and it’s all subconscious.

I don’t have the answer here except to just build a shell and be a dick for a while, but I do want to say I am genuinely sorry you have to deal with that. Always being the victim or always putting on a mask is fucking exhausting and soul draining.

Right? Minute 55-60 is the 15th minute. Fuck that. If it takes that long then the team is too big for agile or the scrum master had lost control.

You’re right. The other side of that is I did a little contract work for a company that is working on software for unmanned commercial flights.

Those guys actually made me feel better. They were all super smart, meticulous, and incredibly good at their jobs. It was the first environment I’ve ever been in where I felt like I could just barely keep up. I always felt one commit away from fucking things up. So I moseyed on down the road as soon as the thing I was contracted for was finished.

It was such a cool job and they offered me a permanent place. I just couldn’t feel behind every single day for the rest of my career until my system destroyed people’s lives.

Same in the 00s. Everyone knew and no one gave a shit.

Side note: I love how “fuckin business” works a couple of ways.

He should know. He already read a different book about a guy who was hung like this:

And once you’ve finished:

It’s not like the old days, but you can still find high energy local acts out at places like BFE. Just keep an eye on their roster. I’ll likely see you there someday!

I get it. We played Fitzgerald’s a lot for the last few years before it closed. My buddy was sitting in the lighting booth watching the last show.

I don’t think there’s anything that’s going to capture that vibe anymore. BFE is cool. Numbers, for whatever reason, was never really my scene. I’ve played there but I don’t go out of my way to do it. Even The Farm isn’t really what it used to be. I wish I could remember what the name of it was before because we played there a lot too. Wildcatters out in Katy is pretty cool on the right night. Brash has the arcade. Karbach usually has something cool going on (I’ve got a friend over there right now). But none of that is like what Fitzgerald’s was back in the 00s (I was too young and hours away in the 90s, then I left for the military).

But you know what they say. You can never go home.

There are some cool places closer in but I try to avoid heading that way. We played White Oak Music Hall recently and it’s pretty neat. Fitzgerald’s closed a few years back and that place was amazing. On the other side of town is House of Blues which is always a good time.

I like The Farm and BFE, but those are two completely different vibes. I miss Acadia so much. That was my favorite place to be but they closed down last year.

Just to answer the question, tonight I was with a hard rock band. We did our thing then got hammered again.

Sorry, I was drunk as hell up on 1960 and forgot we were having a conversation.

Howdy neighbor!

Naw, I work remote, the HEB is walking distance, and if I’m on the motorcycle I’m headed the other way out of town. The only time I have to deal with it is when I’m playing a gig headed into town while everyone else is driving the other way.

Harris. Also just off 10.

So you’re picturing me every morning back when I had to drive in to work. Got it.

He’s sad because he was going to call in sick but waited too long.

If you’ve got any questions you can message me or reply to me here. I’m not a stylist (I’m a software engineer), but I’ve worked with several.

There are a couple of replies with good advice here. I’m going to add to them. First, remember that you don’t have to get everything at one go. It takes time to build style (notice I say that instead of fashion).

Not all body types can get a good fit off the rack, but having your clothes fit is probably the most important thing you can do. It’s not expensive to have shirts tailored. I have a long torso and narrow shoulders, so any of my work clothes or going out clothes are purchased a size too large and taken down to this very nice Chinese woman who takes them all in for me. It runs me about $25 per shirt to do it but I get a lot of wear out of them so it’s worth it.

Build a capsule wardrobe. A couple of nice plain white T-shirts (I happen to like 3 fit theory because of their range of sizes, but if you can buy off the rack almost any decent T-shirt will work) and a few different colors that you can swap between create a base to build around. Get a couple of dress shirts, one in white (my other go to is blue, but I’ve really gotten into a pink dress shirt under my sweater for cooler weather). Get some good fitting jeans, charcoal slacks (or a charcoal suit), and some brown, khaki, or olive chinos and have them hemmed. From there you can get casual button up shirts, a cardigan, and a nice sweater. You’ll also need casual footwear (I wear skater shoes), dress shoes, and maybe some brown leather boots (I wear Western boots but I don’t recommend it unless you are either very comfortable in them or are somewhere that they’re common…get some reasonable lace up boots).

Mix and match everything. At this point you’ll never look like you’re wearing the same outfit twice. You’ll look put together and you’ll have style. Layer your casual button up over one of the T-shirts. Layer the sweaters over any of your button up shirts. Tuck in if the occasion calls for it. Layer the sweater over a T-shirt.

This advice obviously isn’t for everyone, but you’ll look good. I get compliments about how put together I always look and honestly I rarely stop to think about what I’m wearing because almost everything in my closet goes with everything else and it all fits. With mixing and matching everything I probably have a ton of ways I can put things together with less than 20 items of clothing, 3 of them being shoes.

On any given day it’s easy for me to go from my desk job, to giving a demonstration to executives, to the ranch to ride some horses, then out to any bar in the city. Of course not all of these will apply to you. But if you take your time over the next several months you can get one item on payday and build things up and have something to wear anywhere.

I use that power. I say things ranging from “Dude, that’s not ok” to “Are you fucking stupid or something?” if I’m looking to get their attention.

I’ve also pulled out “You know my cousin is black, right?” (true statement) and “That’s my sister” (untrue statement). When you make it personal they get real uncomfortable and start apologizing.