I haven’t had a cigarette since 2014, but I’ll have one now since Gary went through all the trouble.

The hogs will never betray you. If they do, you were never running with the hogs to begin with.

The best burnt-out sign I have come across was in my city back in 2019. It was a huge, red SENTINEL STORAGE sign, but the TO was no longer illuminated, so it left “SENTINELS RAGE” burning ominously in the night.

Here is the absolute shit-tier photo I managed to snap while driving.

I have been there. I have seen him myself. If you too find yourself standing before him, do not fear. Look down. There are so, so, so many hairballs. It is disgusting.

My five-year-old daughter just climbed over me, stopped to stare at this pic, and said (in a goofy voice) “Wuut da heeeyyck?”

I maintain that if drug-sniffing dogs actually knew what it was that they were doing, none of them would be drug-sniffing dogs.

Sync (Pro) has been my go-to since my brother referred me to it 10 years ago for Reddit. As soon as it was available for Lemmy I grabbed it. There is a stigma surrounding it, of course, as ad-free is a premium/subscription feature. I truly don’t give a shit. I spend my money on far worse things.

I fucked my wife in the bathroom window of the Hyatt in Calgary, in front of a beautiful, sprawling downtown core. The trick was to leave the lights off inside the room.

STALKER. I’d be miserable, but I spend so much time in the Zone already.

Or maybe Stardew Valley if I want to be happy.

When I was a kid my dad told me not to fuck with the insulation. I fucked with the insulation. I should not have fucked with the insulation.

I briefly had an S22 Ultra because there were Pixel shortages at the time, and I hated that piece of shit. Not only was it way too large, extremely heavy, and loaded to the gills with far more unremovable bloatware than the common Google variety, but the camera for which it was touted for being “the best on the market” was absolute dogshit. The white balance was awful, and the shutter speed was slower than a hot turd sliding down the onramp. I returned it after only a week and settled for a budget 4A that actually captured clear photos of my daughter in motion.

They’re all orange down here, Georgie…

Macho Pillow. It’s a big dick bicep shaped pillow for strong, conservative men. Nothing sexual.

Not that dry.

Wolf pussy just sounds dry as fuck.

I have no idea, honestly. I don’t pay attention or mingle between them.

This is problematic because you can no longer use your balls as a proper door knocker for your asshole.

I was playing some crappy F2P MMO (Perfect World, maybe?) and I made a warrior of some werewolf race. Just played with random wolf-related combinations and settled on this. Quit after two days and the username carried on for probably 15 years now.

I don’t even really know all that much about Stalin. I just pulled it out of my ass.

Wish I could fuck that butt. That toad frog is the perfect shaped woman.

“Mom, is it because it’s not hetero sex talk, mom? Mom, this is me, your son, mom.”