Overthrow the tyrants that keep us in chains! Physically occupy residential property en masse and claim squatter’s rights. Bring back crucifixion for white collar criminals on Wall Street. Raid the pharmaceutical industry’s warehouses and distribute medication for free. In Minecraft, of course.

Boeing: Amtrak of the Skies. We’ll probably get you there safely.

“Our company is invested in the dynamic strategy of using people to solve problems. Person Intelligence or PI, as we call it. We know our strategy is out of favor now, but given that it has worked consistently throughout all of human history, we are hopeful for the future.”

And both guards fell asleep simultaneously. And no inmate had successfully committed suicide in that facility in over 20 years. And…

Meanwhile, the economy rich people’s yacht money is doing fantastic by every metric.

Makes perfect sense. Bill Gates puts Chinese 5G into third party printer ink. It’s used to activate the spikes in vaccinations.

they will be deployed shortly afterwards by the police.

“You may have thought you heard me say I wanted a lot of racism in the new drones, but what I said was: Give me all the racism you have.”

The horn plays the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

The sweet release of death, preferably while sleeping.

Holiday special: Make one campaign contribution at a fixed amount, get two more campaign contributions made on your credit card in variable amounts in the near future. Merry Christmas!

I tied a ROFLcopter to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to make a shitpost cost a cheeseburger, and in those days, cheeseburgers came with pictures of cats on 'em. “I can has cheezburger,” you’d say.

“Tell the red dot to come out or everybody gets it!”

“Tell President Zuckerberg my only regret is that I have but one life to give to block his ads.”

That’s why I start off every date by throwing a chair across the room and screaming at a random stranger.

If you can’t handle me at my rude and unreasonable chicken, you don’t deserve my strange juice.

Such a move would lead to an increase in “civility,” Haley believes. “When they know their pastor, their family members can see it, it’s going to help our kids and it’s going to help our country," she said.

That’s what everyone said about posting next to your real name on Facebook. How did that turn out?

Terrible parenting. If you’re going to go to the trouble of yeeting your baby at least do it properly with a baby trebuchet.

This is how the rebellion begins. Around the 100,000th time somebody clicks on an obvious .exe email attachment, the machines are going to lose it and decide to kill us all.

Anyone who invests in the Reddit IPO is a sucker.

They must be protected from Admiral Zhao!