Sorry mate, I gave up driving years ago.

There’s apparently a resort town in Thailand where all the local staff speak Swedish, because the tourists are almost all Swedish.

I should probably give The Illuminatus! Trilogy another read.

This is the future conservatives want

Ah yes, Chesterton’s Balcony

People have jailbroken the Car Thing and are using them to control home automation/media playback and display information.

I’m guessing that, unlike the Spotify Car Thing, there’s no conceivably useful application a jailbroken one of these could be repurposed for.

* Yiddish has entered the conversation

Had the world settled on German, someone might be making a similar argument that the world dodged a bullet by choosing a language with phonetic orthography and words composed of logical building blocks rather than a mess like English

A key reason English became the preeminent language of scientific and technical communication, and thus the source of keywords in programming languages, is because German (the other candidate) fell out of favour due to the two world wars. So, were it not for Prussian militarism, our programming languages may have instead been based on German (along with most scientific literature being in German).

Haskell would be reserved for drug offenders

The sentence should scale with the crime. Nonviolent burglars and minor frauds could be taught Python, more serious crimes could get Go, whereas the most depraved offenders could be sentenced to C++

No, use Hannah Montana Linux like a normal person

Presumably quadraspazzed on a lifeglug.

There was a modern handheld with this form factor maybe 8 years ago named the Gemini. It shipped with a version of Android, though could be flashed to run a Linux, if you didn’t mind not knowing if will wake up from sleep. I still have one sitting in the back of a drawer.

Trains in Germany are delayed a lot these days due to a backlog in track maintenance (though there’s now a program to overhaul the system), though a typical German train delay may be 30-60 minutes for an intercity connection, rather than 5 hours while your Amtrak train waits in a field for a succession of freight trains to pass. The Germans complain about it (and are right to), though it’s all relative.

Hamburg is a pleasant city. The area around Altona and St. Pauli can be interesting to explore. If you’re interested in travelling, it’s also easy to go elsewhere. Berlin is about 2 hours away by train (and worth a visit; there’s a lot going on there), Amsterdam is a slightly longer journey, and to your north is Copenhagen, about 5 hours away by train (which will halve in a few years when the undersea rail tunnel opens). Beyond, you can reach Paris, Warsaw or Stockholm within a day, and there are sleeper trains to places like Vienna.

People still use Drake memes despite him allegedly being a nonce.

There was a self-published book that attempted to make a case for Jack the Ripper having been Lewis Carroll, mostly by taking anagrams of the writings of both.

The Canucks won’t stand a chance