• 7 Posts
  • 148 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 9th, 2023

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  • Would you mind expanding on that? I picked up that it’s not generally done, but whenever someone replies to something I’ve posted, I generally don’t care, and I’ll often reply to them if it’s worthwhile.

    Obviously, some stuff is time sensitive, but if someone wants to disagree with or add to something I’ve said a year or more ago, I don’t see the issue. But I think your opinion is the majority?


  • Yeah, if you’re already planning on going to the same place, then you can be his cool, settled friend, who already knows how stuff works. University isn’t segregated by year in the way that school is.

    If the real reason is that you’re worried that a year of long distance will doom your relationship, then you have to ask if it’s worth changing your life plans for? Especially, if it ends up putting extra pressure on the relationship - if my partner gave up something like that for me I would feel like I couldn’t disappoint them or break up, because i somehow ‘owed them’. Your partner is telling you that he doesn’t want you to change your plans for him - that could be because he doesn’t feel he can ask that of you, but he really wants you to stay. Or he could mean what he says, and secretly be looking forward to the challenge of starting somehting new and learning to be his own person.

    But if the real reason is you value your relationship, and you’d rather spend a year with him than go to university, then be honest about that. Then it’s your choice, and it’s not putting pressure on (or infantalising) him. Choosing your relationship over your education is the sort of thing parents might disapprove of at that age, but it’s your life and only you can know what’s the priority for you. But don’t do it because your 17 year-old boyfriend “needs your help” when he’s saying he doesn’t.



  • Like the others are saying, it’s being emotionally affected by other people’s emotional states. If I make a stranger happy by doing something nice for them, or even just being around happy people, thta makes me feel good. If someone is upset, it’s upsetting to be around them. This can be a positive, because it motivates people to help people in need, or it can be selfish, where people avoid or exclude those who are suffering (e.g. hating the homeless) because it makes them sad to see people in bad situations but they don’t want to help them.

    What’s it like to not have empathy? Is a person being happy or sad completely irrelevant to your emotional state? Is a person’s wellbeing emotionally equal to an inanimate object? I have no knowledge of ASPD so I genuinely curious!






  • I travel a lot, and spend time in a lot of random places, stay with friends and such like. My job means that I can set my own schedule most of the time, but sometimes I need to respond to something pretty urgently. So, there’s been plenty of times when I’ve been travelling light and suddenly been asked to pull a bunch of data from a spreadsheet and write some quick report on it, so usually I just ask whoever I’m with if I can use their pc for an hour and get it out the way.

    It’s certainly possible do it all on a phone, but it’s much quicker and more pleasant to just use a proper keyboard and screen. And there have been times (like after a ill-advised encounter with a fountain in Rome) when my phone is temporarily out of action, so if I need to deal with travel arrangements on a public computer it might involve accessing my emails.


  • Yeah, I didn’t find it particularly bizarre. Both are very natural ways to process verbal information. Anyone who’s ever tried to do arithmetic in a new language knows that we don’t just abstractly do math, a big part is that we know that seven plus eight is fifteen. That’s why they used to teach multiplication tables by rote. It would be lot more bizarre if an llm had independently devised a reliable mathematical algorithm.




  • Anyone got a any opinions (or a link to a review) of the different options? Proton and tuta come up, are there others worth considering?

    I understand that I’ll probably need to pay (otherwise I’m the product) and encryption / security is good, but the thing that keeps with Gmail (apart from inertia) is that it feels quick and easy to use. My only real experience of non Gmail sites over the last two decades have been terrible but mandatory work webmail systems that are slow, clunky and look a decade out of date. Or Hotmail, which sucks for a variety of reasons.




  • Another thing that might be a bit different from reddit, is that lots of folks here recommend using the Block options for users / communities. Lemmy is a smaller place, so if a particular user keeps posting stuff that isn’t what you want to see in a community it can really ruin the experience. It’s totally okay to just block people, and is the generally recommended way of dealing with trolls.

    Federation, multiple instances, among other things, means that lemmy as whole is less strictly governed by mods than reddit. That’s good in many ways, but it does mean that we users have to take some responsibility to create the lemmy we want, and that sometimes means blocking people.


  • Uncut in general. But it can go a bit insane, with a few giant weeds that start turning into bracken. What works for us (but ymmv obvs) is having some dwarf goats or sheep. We move them around the property and they nibble the grass and weeds but don’t make it a miserable mowed lawn. It looks like a lovely meadow. And they’re surprisingly affectionate and relatively low maintence.