I got a paddling for calling a student teacher “Mr. Ummmm… Dude” bc I couldn’t think of his name. The actual teacher said that was the equivalent of him calling me an asshole.

Also

I got suspended because we were selling cookbooks for some event and I didn’t pay attention to the price. I asked someone before I left for the day and they lied and told me double the price. It was 5 he said 10. I learned from a friend that I was told wrong the next day after it came up I sold my mom’s bf one for 10. Principal overheard and I got suspended for 3 days. The art teacher that was in charge of the event told me I “disgusted her” and to get out of her sight.

I could probably go on. School was dumb.

This right here. Only downside is I have gotten distracted and forgot to go get my food without the beeping to summon me, but overall it’s definitely been a net positive.

By that logic, no inanimate objects should show up either. I’d look in a mirror and would see behind me through the back wall and all the way to my neighbors inside their now invisible soulless house, and all neighbors beyond. It’d just be a bunch of people at various distances in my mirror line of sight in an infinite void behind me as far as the eye can see. And we’d all appear naked.

Dracula Flow

It’s so freaking good. It’s the only thing I know of that was a book series first that most people who have read the books say the show is actually better.

The episode of The Magicians where they sing Under Pressure.

Idk what it is, but I’ve rewatched that scene 1000 times.

Sometimes it makes it funnier to laugh at your own jokes. Mitch Hedberg laughing at his own filler jokes cracks me up.

Janus words

NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!

It’s safer to not do a lot of stuff. Soooo many things everyone does every day “can get messy.” But I’ll be damned if I spend a third of my life being a work robot. Granted, I’m not in a cut-throat, dog eat dog work environment like I imagine a lot of folks are, but it’s bad blanket advice to say don’t make friends at work. I work with two other guys, we all do the same thing, we all have similar interests, and we would all be super stoked for each other if any of us got a promotion.

Good advice: Just use your brain. Yeah, if that bitch Carol from accounting is gunning for the same position as you, probably don’t tell her how hard you were partying last weekend with the bosses daughter. But if Dave from IT is talking about that super sweet video game you’ve also been playing, get in there and have a fun chat with Dave. Get his screen name. Kill some zombies with Dave.

Just pay attention, read the room, and think before you speak. You can definitely have work friends in any work environment if you don’t make dumb decisions.

This is dumb as hell. Why wouldn’t you want to be make friends with the people you are going to be spending nearly a third of your time with?

A Knight’s Tale

Pro tip, if you are around someone with hiccups and you want to help them out, wait for their next hiccup, then immediately after offer them $10 (or anything you can provide as incentive) if they can hiccup one more time. Something about wanting it makes it stop.

Unfortunately, this probably won’t work on you anymore once you’ve read this, so sorry about that. And it only works on the unknowing a few times before they become immune, but it’s a neat trick that they will appreciate it when it works!

Most of the games I’ve played on RPCS3 look way better and run much smoother than how they did on the console itself. And no long wait times to load into the console OS save menuz saving was nearly instant. So good.

Buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo.

Caligula

Okay, I stole this a while back, but I feel it’s needed here. It’s my new favorite meme format.

Better yet, get a credit card that earns rewards and treat it like a bill that must be paid each month. I have a Citi double cash card that’s 2% rewards for all purchases that I use to pay for almost everything. I also have a citi custom cash card that we use for food exclusively, which is like 5% rewards for the most spent category. I keep upping the limit of both at every opportunity to try and keep spending below 10% monthly. Combined they generate at least 2k a year and I have a near 800 credit score and it’s no different than using cash if you are responsible. Free money.

We tried this. Used them for a while, but ended up going back to fabric softener. The wool balls help, but don’t do nearly as good of a job.